Training day

I couldn't feel my fingers. My cheeks were getting number as I zipped through the empty Bangalore roads, (no I am not kidding, they were empty!) at 7:00 AM. I had to catch a bus from point A to point B and no sane person would dare to drive him/herself from any point to point B.

I would never drive to point B. Yes, I'm a smart ass.

I had registered for a training session with great alacrity, a week or so back, and was really looking forward to it. I comfortably seated myself at the back row,ahh brings back college memories. The whole bus was quiet. It felt like we are prisoners being take to work. I made some smalltalk with people around, who all happened to be sleeping. To lessen the pain of rejection I looked outside the window to see everyone moving backward while I leapt forwards. It was a great feeling of accomplishment.

My feeling of greatness was short lived as I was handed sheet wherein I was supposed to write my name and employee code. Why ??? With a great struggle I somehow wrote my name only to realize it was all over the place. Was it my company's version of a DUI(Driving Under Influence) test ? Only here we are to show our talent by writing legibly and within the 2 lines while the bus swerved and bounced at 70 kmph.

On shamelessly failing the test with a hysterical laugh I woke up a few guys and they saw me pointing to a board which read "...(A subsidiary of something else)" ! LOL. Someone in this planet actually has a sense of humor and the balls to display it on a huge board above his store. Only later I realized "something else" was the name of the adjacent shop. The guy lost all my respect. Loser.

So now I'm sitting in a training session. I had a PC in front of me which actually had a working internet connection and ofcourse in such a situation the most obvious thing I did is to look at the local intranet webpage. Brilliant.

The trainer was a decent chap. He was slim and in a jacket. He had long hair. Kinda looked like a stud. The only thing that worried me was that he kept staring at me. It was like I was the only person in the god damn room. Did he realize that I was the only doofus around ? Or was he one of those few who spotted me to be one of the Intelligentsia? Or was it something else ?Whatever be the reason, we made loads of eye contact and I shied away like a little girl behind her mother.

I was petrified.

During the break he approached me. I was alone. I saw him walking towards me and quickly turned my gaze to my monitor pretending I was deep in some research work. He pulled a chair beside me and laid a hand on my thigh and said in a deep tone "So you come here often ? "
Oops. I am getting carried away. But it was quite possible. He sat beside me and enquired in a reassuring tone whether I was struggling with something. I almost lifted my skirt and ran out of there if one other guy hadn't accosted him. phew.

Sharp 5:30 I ran to the stop to catch the cab where again I was presented with the arduous task of passing our company's version of the DUI, only this time I wrote my name over the lady's name. It was dark ok.

The cab could hardly seat 9 guys and all of them were on their mobiles bombarding my ear drums with eclectic tones. Why do people talk to others miles away when don't even look at the person beside them ?

People are weird.

I really feel awkward gossiping on a mobile when people are around. Not only do I find it unhealthy but its insulting to the people sitting around you waiting for you to get off the phone so they can have a bit of you.

With a not so good experience today, I am a bit skeptical about the next 2 days. It was quite a boring session like all other sessions. I can't sit in one place for long and that too without talking/chatting with someone. I like to talk.
Gawdddddd.
I couldn't take it anymore.Through out the session I kept telling to myself, "common Shalabh, you have done your engg. You have seen the best of the worst. This is nothing". Yea, but he is a corporate trainer. My company could not have shelled out loads of money on a jerk. He has got to be good. Its all in my mind. I must listen attentively. Yes!

Must listen to brain.

I took my eyes of the intraweb page with a command from an almost dysfunctional cranium and heard the dude say "Tomorrow we shall do .....*static*....... I have a few problem sets ........*static*......... they are unsolvable .......*static*...... but we must solve them".

Thats it. Its official. I am calling it quits tomorrow.